I don't expect a lot of people to agree with me but the world doesn't change for the good if we hide good ideas so I hope this is a good idea that humans will choose to implement in their lives.

Let's talk (or text) a little bit about how our mental habits affect others. Firstly, do we realize that our mental thoughts can become habits? If you grew up around negativity, there's a possibility (not a guarantee) that you may be a little over negative about things. My opinion is that there is a fine line between being constructive and having a toxic mental habits (P.S I'm not a psychologist but if you're reading this and you're already complaining about me not using the correct terms - then unfortunately you just added yourself to this group).

We've been taught to believe that critique and criticising others is somehow our strengths - but look at the world we live in today because of it. We have banks that keep our interest profits (because someone said in an executive meeting that the profits were not enough so let's continue to extract it from our customers - all from a critique), there's health insurance that seems to be more profitable than it is a safety net for many people, there are teams that should be productive but instead they're finding faults with one another and becoming distracted. My examples are to point out that critiquing isn't really the way - direct critiquing will define a problem but too much of that just takes a toll on the human that has to solve that problem. We need to realize that if we create a toxic environment, whether we've criticized someone by a fact that is true, we might be making the world itself a worse place to foster success. Success is not just monetary, removing toxic mental habits or adding positivity to the mix will definitely improve the lives of many. No sane person wants to live in filth or in a cesspit, so why are we pushing division and anti-teamwork where we show care for one another to make a bigger impact? Get rid of toxic mental habits and create an environment where everyone is free to be a super hero - let's change the world for the better.

Lately I've been noticing something really disappointing about the 'higher educated individuals' - that is the ones who have gone through the education system and have the top of the top credentials. When it comes to working with others, one of the greatest 'motivations' is to be able to deal with individuals that have reached a higher level of thinking (and hopefully their education has influenced them or equiped them to do that) - but coming back to my topic, I'm really not seeing that. What I feel like I'm seeing is an act - like there's a care but only because someone knows it looks like caring. People always recommend going with what your gut tells you (not just you know, for the toilets). I'll give you an example to zone in on what I'm saying. It takes really barely anything to start an email with a greeting, that's my view yet I see even top line people that seem to chose not to do that - that's really low. I've seen people who have become the top of the food chain in the hierarchy of organizations and instead of being on the top of the world, they seem more miserable while having more and it leaks out in a really negative way. Don't get me wrong, you know people go through things, personal things even but how people forget that they are human and others want to be treated like humans really isn't rocket science or even a medium level of brilliance and that's why I say I expected more - not because I'm perfect but because I'm human and you are to. Maybe one day true intelligence will regain it's grip - but I wouldn't count on it.

It's really rare for me to write lately. In my 20s, I'd share my thoughts with the world via the blog I had previously for TNTSMS. A lot has obviously changed, let's call it 20 additional years. Some posts during that time I ended up not hitting the publish button to make it available to the world because I learnt a hard lesson after I posted one time and then lost my father less than a year later - the post wasn't wrong but some things cannot be said to the world. That's my preable - for context - to get to my real point.

In 20 years, if it's one thing I've learnt is the heart break of having to live up to people I have cared about. In fact, you don't have to have a deep respect for someone to want them to appreciate your value. In both cases at times, I've experienced disappointment. This is context of really trying hard to make people proud of you.

I've learnt now that people will hardly ever live up to encouraging you. Sure your life is different from mine but if you're seeing that truth, then this blog / advice is for you. My advice is this - as long as you are serving God the best of your ability (which will never be perfect, that's just not something we can fix) - then don't even bother asking people what they think. Not every person will tell you something negative - don't get me wrong - God bless them if they speak positivity in your life. But the moment you ask that question to the person who will criticize your ability, skill or calling, especially from someone you either wanted to have a good relationship with or someone you were hoping to gain favour with and they tell you something negative - it can break even 10 years of work.

You will meet people who have not done but they are quite happy breaking your spirit by telling you something negative when you've been working towards your calling, your goals, your dreams. Other than taking that negative opinion and proving them wrong (which could take many years - losing time on something that might not have been a high priority) - it's probably better to just do, work at what you do.

I suppose that in some way, it's giving up - it's giving up wanting to hear anything from anyone, perhaps needing to hearing anything good from anyone and just doing what you have to do in life once you're pleasing God.

So for those of you who don't know what stingy means, well there's probably multiple ways to spell that word - it's not a dictionary word but a word using in Trinidad and Tobago where I'm from in the Caribbean. To be stingy (pronounced stin-jee) is to be pretty much allergic to giving.

The truth is, while I've met a lot of giving people, the ones that I've seen that have been closer to my life in the sense that I've met them and were rich seemed (in my impression) to be the more stingy ones. I've wondered many times why on earth would the universe give them more than others. There's an answer which I don't particular like and I will not share it.

The question is - what do you think? Is a rich person really rich if they're stingy? I feel like it's a rhetorical question...

So in about a week, I'll be 40 years old. It's been quite a ride so far - I remember the days when I was much more vibrant and my site slogan was I AM THE FUTURE. Most of the people who followed my posts know way back when I was running TNTSMS.COM that I was a bit emo. Then when I started this website, things were a little less emo but my posts could have offended some (or maybe many). There was one post that was scary because a little after I wrote that post, my dad died a really agonizing death - the post was written before it but it somehow became true. That's why I stopped posting about my thoughts.

Today, I decided I'd write about something less scary but something that impacted on my life. It was one of the birthdays I was a bit disappointed for and that disappointment led me to the title of this post - why I don't ask for large birthday gatherings on my birthday.

So my family had organized the rest of family to come together to celebrate my birthday when I was younger (probably in my early 20s). There was someone that was fairly close to me in the family that spoke and I was expecting that person to say good things about me but they barely scratched the clear coating of the surface. I was disappointed not because I wanted recognition - it was just one of those personal disappointments. When you realize that it's more important for someone to take the lime light on your birthday - it really shows you what human beings are capable of doing and how large their egos are. The one day it was okay for someone to say something good about me that I can truly accept without feeling guilty about letting it go to my ego is my birthday - that's how I feel about birthdays - that's how I feel about any other day other than my birthday.

Now since then, there was one occassion where I was surprised thanks to my wife and mom and family and that was in church - it was nice to be appreciated but I do remember that in church, it's really supposed to be about God - this is why I don't ask for the church to celebrate my birthday because I don't want to take appreciation for what God should be appreciated for.

So what I'm saying is that it's more of a choice now, yes it would be nice to hear people say good things about me but if that's not going to happen, then it defeats the point of celebrating my birthday with the company of like a whole bunch of people, rather to just celebrate it with the people I'm fairly certain can see something good in me.

If you don't agree with how I think and feel, hey, you do you in this case. If you know what I mean, then you know what I mean otherwise.