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I now know why I wrote on my blog

It's been about 10 year later, I'm now 32, I feel so much older, slower, failed and even lonely (but not lonely the way most folks know it).
Using my spare time wisely, mostly always analyzing, I now realize why I used to write on my blog. As you can see, I barely do it lately. I stopped when the people I cared for the most asked me why I would share how I feel with people who would just use it to hurt me. I suppose, it's called love and now I know that if there was someone like me who posted on their blog and I loved them, I would probably give them the same advice - never let people know how you really feel - they will most likely not understand.

I've lost a lot of friends just like Mark Zuckerburg... but Mark Zuckerburg of Facebook was lucky - he became rich, popular and perhaps vindicated. The total opposite I think of what happened to me. Again as I said, I lost a lot of friends, mostly because I was understood, mostly because I was honest and had my heart on my sleeve and mostly because of my blog and other creations. I was actually fine with that until recently. Sure, I might have been insensitive sometimes but who hasn't... cast the first stone.

In any event, coming back to the topic, I now know why I wrote on my blog. I never wrote for people who knew... and that's ironic now coming to think about it since I mostly told people I knew that I had a blog. My blog branched off from TNTSMS.COM at some point and so the blog was intended for those who used the website... many of which I didn't know.

Truth be told, I think I'm better judged by those that I don't know that those that I knew or those who knew me. The blog was really for those who would judge me easier. Maybe for those who could keep a connection purely based on just my heart and mind - not my actions, not my looks (or lack thereof). This is what I've always been fascinated by and has a link to IRC - where I first developed this really bad habit to put it lightly.

In any event, I hope to have more days where I can begin blogging again. If you're out there and you don't know me, I'd love to hear from you - you can always email me at risharde@gmail.com

It would be nice to make new friends...

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